The Fourth Life: Chapter 30

Blair arrived at St. Anne's a little after breakfast hour.  Of course, she knew their schedule inside and out from her days there, and from what she could tell, it had not changed.  She checked in at the desk, and absently saw that Patrick had been there the night before.  "Marty," she thought.  "Still everyone's damsel in distress after all these years."


Within moments, the nun on duty had summoned Sister Rebecca Katherine, who greeted Blair with a cheery hello, and an embrace, which turned to Blair breaking down in tears.  "Goodness, my dear, what seems to be the trouble, eh?  Come into my quarters and we shall talk.  Can I get ya some coffee?"


Blair refused the offer, but followed Sister Rebecca Katherine to her room.  Once inside, the nun handed her a tissue and said, "Now wipe your eyes, my dear."


"I'm sorry, Sister.  I am.  I just really did not know where else to turn.  You were such a help to us, during..."


"Yes, dear, let's dispense with all that.  What is going on with my boy?"


"He's in trouble...emotionally."


"Oh no, the poor thing.  He's been through so much.  And you have been his strength, my darlin.'"


"I don't know how, anymore.  I just can't seem to help him."


"It takes time, Bridgette, you know this.  It takes time for these kinds of pains to pass."


"He's so sad, so hurt, and so angry.  He scares me, like he might try and get revenge.  Then, I will lose him."


"It's strange how our minds work, eh?  Michael Leona is the one who perpetrated those ills on your husband, yet he has fixated on Carlo Hesser.  It reminds me of Timothy."


Blair knew more about it than she let on.  "Yes.  I suppose that's a decent comparison."  She flashed on the photograph:  the woman, the long dark hair and striking eyes, the child.  She said, "Yesterday, Sam picked up the phone and a man made a terrible threat to him.  He was so terrified.  Todd was the only one who could bring him down from his hysteria.  We had tried for hours, and Todd shows up, and boom, Sam's okay."


"He is very good with the children, dear.  I've seen it myself."


"But then, he fell apart.  He just...I was so scared, Sister.  I thought he might do something crazy."


Sister Rebecca Katherine took Blair's hand.  "It's all right now.  I wish that the lad could just let it go."


"He can't.  It's....there's more you don't know, Sister."


The older woman's eyes became wider and watery.  "Do you want to tell me, dear?"


"Sister, he was raped by that man.  For eight years.  Most of it, he did not remember until he was kidnapped a few months ago and overcame his catatonia.  He's got so much rage and anger, he cannot it let go."


The nun stood up, and crossed the room, saying, "Oh no.  No."  She twisted her hands.  "Didn't you say he was raped as a child?"


"Yes.  He was just getting over that horror.  Now he has this one."


"My dear, how terrible for him."  Her back was still to Blair; she really did not want to distress her by letting her know she was crying.  Tears streamed slowly on her face and she had found her prayer beads and was holding them, in habit.


Blair continued, "I am scared that he's going to kill Hesser.  I don't know what else to do."


The nun pulled herself together and turned back to Blair, walking to her and sitting across from her, taking her hand.  "You must tell Ray Martino.  Now.  And you must tell John McBain.  He is a good man, that lad, and he won't hurt your Todd, but he might be able to help."


"I couldn't do that.  It would be a betrayal to him.  But I could talk to Ray more, and I have.  It's just...not working right now."


"Things will be better.  The Lord will see to it.  I'll pray for him.  Do you want me to show up later, and talk with him?  I can act like ya never came here."


"I would appreciate that.  Anything that might help, I would appreciate."


"Then you have my word, dearest.  Bridgette, keep loving him.  He needs it."


"Sister, how could I ever stop?  I've tried.  With Todd, it never works."


She smiled, "I'll be there later.  I promise you.  Now, get yourself home and rest and eat something, dear, for a pregnant woman, you're starting to resemble a super model, eh?"


Blair squeezed the woman's hand.  "Thank you, Sister."


On the way out, Blair said a small prayer that she would not run into Marty Saybrooke.  Today was just not the day.


***


At Unforgettable, Todd had the boys outside for some football.  He was teaching Jack to run some plays from his old days on the team.  Sam was running all around them, practically being the ball.  They threw Sam around like he was a little bit of skin and air.  Finally, they wanted a snack, so they all moved into the house, and Todd raided the kitchen for them.  Sam said, "That was so much fun, like us going to the park, Dad, when we lived in the penthouse."


Jack said, "Yeah, but this is better.  This is our own park."


"Yeah, our own park," Sam said, digging into the grilled cheese Todd had just made him.  He handed Jack a plate also.  


"Thanks," Jack said, tearing into his sandwich.


Todd finished his own creation, and sat down with the boys to eat it.  "What should we do next, guys?"  he said.


"Play in the snow!"  Sam said.


"There's no snow, Sam."  Jack said.


"Dad can make some.  He can do anything!"  He said, getting up and bringing his plate to the sink.  


Todd chuckled to himself as Jack said, "See, the new meaning of badass, Dad."


Sam said, "Can we, Dad?"


Todd said, "I'm not up to making snow today, Sam.  Pick something else."


Sam said, "Okay," dejectedly, then his eyes widened.  "Can we play Spiderman?"


"You mean on the roof, with the bungee cords?" Jack said.


Todd said, "Uh, what's that about, Jack?"


"Oh nothing, Dad, don't worry."


"I don't like the sound of that one."


Sam said, "Please can we please?"


"No bungee cords, but sure, we can play Spiderman."  Then, to Jack, "I don't want to know, do I?"


"Probably not." Jack agreed, and Sam ran off to get his costume and get ready.


Jack brought his plate to the sink, stopping to get Todd's.  "Dad, Sam thinks you're a superhero.  Still."


"I know he does.  I try and tell him I'm not, but it never works."


"That's because in the real world, you sorta are."


"No, Jack,"  he became very serious, "I'm not a hero.  You can't call me that.  I've done things...let's just say they're less than heroic."


"That was a long time ago.  You're a hero now, saving Mom and Little Ray.  You're a hero to us for being here."


"No, Jack.  That's just me, being a father and a husband.  I'm not a hero.  Heroes don't rape people.  They don't take out their pain on others.  They don't take a little baby, and give it away."


Jack stopped, and his throat worked.  "That was a long time ago.  You've been forgiven for giving me away.  And you've gone through enough to pay for everything.  Mom and Shaun both said that."


"Maybe, to pay for it.  But to be classified as a hero?  No.  Someone like Shaun, John McBain, those are heroic men."


"You're just like them.  You're way better than McPain."


"Jack, stop.  You're not to call him that, anymore.  He's a very good man, a very honest one.  He can see the truth about me, both ways.  I respect him for that and for how he took care of you all and your mother when she needed someone."


Jack was not sure what to say.  So he said, "But Dad, you're a hero to me.  I mean that.  You gave your life for us, more than once."


"Just being your father, Jack.  That's what fathers do.  I can't be a hero because of what I did before, even though I didn't mean the harm I caused, or even though I had a so-called reason."


"Marty forgave you, Dad, didn't she?"


"If you want to call it that.  She knew I had pain, she knew I had circumstances, she knew I had changed when I fell for your mother.  Yeah, she forgave me, a couple of times along the way.  But now, she's insane, Jack.  She's lost her mind, and her ability to live a normal life.  I can't help but think what that means as far as I am concerned.  Did I send her in that direction?  Was I a piece of that madness?"


Jack had a difficult time hearing this from his father.  Unsure of what to say, he said, "Dad, I am still going to think of you as a hero.  You can't change that.  A hero can be someone you learn something from or that stands for something you admire.  You're both to me, and to Mom, Sam, Starr.  It'll never change.  You might down yourself, but we just can't."


Todd, overcome with emotion, just looked at his son.  He was the perfect combination of him and Blair.  He had her smile, and sometimes, he had his eyes.  For a moment, he flashed back to that little beautiful baby that he handed off to someone, and then got back, brought to Blair, and watched her reunite with on their wedding day.  He gulped back tears and said, "Jack, and I mean this when I say it, you were the most beautiful baby I ever saw in my life.  Even to this day.  Little Ray's a miracle to me, Starr was beautiful when I first saw her, but you, you were perfect.  Your face was so beautiful, it was hard to look it.  You were the son I had wanted with your mother, and my selfishness and pain just took over when I thought you were Max's son.  But, your smile could light up a room.  From the first time you did it, I'll never forget that.  It's burned into my heart, deeper than any of these marks and scars I carry."


Jack nodded, choked up enough to curtail his speech.  "I..I love you."  He swallowed.


Todd said, "I love you, too, Son.  Now, go and get your brother.  And no bungee cords."


***


Carlo woke to the sound of the guard slipping a letter under his cell bars.  He got up, seeing his cellmate was gone, and went to the door.  Bending to pick it up he said, "A letter.  For me?" in his hissing style of talk.


He opened it, and read it to himself.

Father,

I have thought a great deal about your offer. Of course, it was never tempting, nor was I interested in considering it.  At the very least, I write this to let you know that I have already been able to move on from needing information about my past.  However, I cannot oblige your request about the trial.  Yes, I will be there.  But I remember every little thing you did to me, said to me, and said around me, including your contact with the murderous men you hired as your minions.  I will be there, in the front row, to watch you hear your dirtiness aired in front of everyone.  And, I will be testifying to the fullness of my capability.  

You're not a parent, you're a broker who deals in life and death.  I want no part of you, or what you know of me.  As for my mother, I will either find her on my own or let her identity remain unknown.  It is better than ever making a deal with the Devil, whom I know you to be.

Your former son,

Zeus

Carlo, so enraged by the words of the letter, slammed his fist against the wall, hard enough to break the skin.  Sucking at the wound a little, he called for the guard.  "I've been injured."

The Guard appeared at the door, and said, "What now, Hesser?"  He held out his hand, and showed his knuckles to the guard.  "Not such good news, eh?"  He opened the cell and walked in.


"There will be worse, for you, if you do not get me a doctor."


The guard laughed, "You don't scare me in here, old man.  In here, you're nothing."


"Precisely," he said, aloud, extending his hands for the chains.


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