The Fourth Life: Chapter 40

She was walking, in a dark hallway, dressed in a white nightgown, with multiple doors surrounding her, not knowing which one to enter.  She kept her hand on her belly, protectively, and used the other to knock.  None of the knocks elicited an answer, so she continued.  The walls were blood red, the doors were black, and there was little light as she moved forward.  She continued knocking on door after door, and feeling distress in her body for the baby, she pushed on.  


Finally, one door opened and to her horror, Michael Leona was inside, with Todd, lying on a table, catatonic.  Leona held his skinner, bloody and raised.  She looked down and saw blood all over her hand and gown.  Carlo appeared behind her and shoved her into the room, and followed, locking the door.  He sneered and laughed, loud, bellowing laughter...


She woke up screaming.


In the waiting room, Todd was dozing against the window, his head resting against the glass.    


He was in the courtroom, and Blair had just been shot.  He was over her, asking her to talk to him, and Hesser passed by.  This time, Hesser wore Leona's grin, and looked deliberately into Todd's eyes.  He jumped the barrier, ran up to Hesser, and pulled the skinner from his pocket.  The knife, he hadn't given it back, fuck, he never would.  He pulled it back and sliced across Hesser's throat, and watching him gurgle on his own blood, he turned back to see the crowd gone, and Blair, dead, her eyes rolled back in her head.  A scream lodged in his throat. . .


He jumped to alertness, and was breathing heavily.  Looking around, he saw there was no one, and he made some noises, similar to choking, as he got his breath back and his eyes focused above him on a young woman's face.  It was the nurse.  "Mr. Manning, come quickly, please."


He followed her, listening to her words, none of which were sticking with him, since he had just awakened himself.  He heard, 'came through the surgery fine,' and 'suddenly woke up screaming' and not knowing what to expect, he kept following the nurse's steps with his own, until he got it.  Blair was awake, thrashing in the bed, like he'd never seen her.  She was screaming "No!  No!  Don't let them cut out my baby!" and though he wasn't sure what had happened, he lunged onto the bed and pulled her into his arms, saying loudly, "Blair.  It's all right. Shhhh.  Stop, babe."


She broke down, clawing at his jacket and sinking into his arms.  "You're here?  You're alive?  You were bleeding.  I was bleeding..."


"Yes, Babe, I'm here.  I'm right here," he turned her face to his.  "Shhhh.  Stop now," he said soothingly. 


It was as if she just registered the pain she was in and moaned and winced.  "It hurts.  Don't let them cut out my baby, Todd.  Don't let them.  Please don't!"  She fought against him, squirming to break free.


"No, babe, stop, you have to rest," he said, trying to lower her to the bed.  "You can't..."


"Don't let them, Todd," she cried, "Tell them about Sommer.  Don't let them take her, Todd."  Her panic, voice and terror was escalating.


He attempted to quiet her, "Shh, no, Babe, time for you to rest."


She began to fight him more, becoming more physical than he could manage without risk of hurting her, and saw blood seeping from her onto the sheets and the johnny coat.  "Help us!  Please?"  He called out, and a team ran in.  Blair's fingers were white from grasping onto him, and the nurses could not pry her hands off.  An orderly, about five inches taller than Todd and with at least one hundred pounds more, finally got him free of her grasp, so the team could attend to her.  


Todd, breathing heavy, could only hear her howling shriek "Noooooooo!" as they ripped her hands off his arms.  He stepped back and could do nothing but watch her, reaching for him wildly, saying "Don't let them cut the baby out, Todd! Todd!  Don't leave me!"  She screamed and then reacted to a needle in her other arm, and fell quiet within minutes.  He shook, backing against a machine, and stopping before toppling it.  


He said, "What happened to her, damnit?  What kind of hospital is this?"


"Mr. Manning, please.  She was dreaming.  The next minute, she was screaming and we didn't know how to calm her, so we sent for you,"  the nurse explained.  


"It's already happened," he said, and moved back to her bedside.  "The baby's gone."


The doctor explained that she had reopened her wound and her incision, and would require attention, and asked Todd to step out.  He did, standing alone, facing the green curtains, with his hands in his front pants pockets.  He closed his eyes, and said aloud, "Bring her back to me."


A voice behind him said, "She's there, Todd.  Give her time, brother." 


He turned to see Patrick Thornhart.

"She's...I don't know what to do to help her."  Todd said, looking at Patrick.


"What happened in there?"


"She was screaming, about me not letting them take the baby.  It's already been done, I can't even tell her I won't."


"The child was dead, Todd.  You did nothing wrong."


"She was hysterical.  I can only remember her like that one other time.  When she..."  he flashed back in his mind to lifting her blouse off her, and washing her hands over a silver basin.


"You're remembering something painful.  I feel I am intruding."


Todd paused, "You're not.  In fact, I could use the company right now.  I'm not sure what to do," his voice cracked.


"She's confused," Patrick said, "Probably had a nightmare, or the medication could jumble her thoughts."


"Did I make a mistake?  Should I have let her try and deliver that baby, dead, in two or three weeks?"


"Again, I don't think you did anything wrong.  It will be too much for her.  Her reaction just now is proof enough.  Can you imagine her living through the trial and all of that, with her child dead inside her?"


Todd shook his head.  Horrified, he wiped his eyes on his sleeve.  "She was so....desperate."


"Losing a child takes a lot from a woman.  You must remember that, since ya lost your own."


"I do.  And when she lost yours, I mean, Brendan."


"It was a very dark day in my life."


"Mine too, when we lost our first baby.  And now..." He turned his face, and blinked back tears.


"I'm sorry for your loss.  It's never easy, no matter what."


"So what brings you here?"  Todd asked, leading the way toward the emergency room waiting area.


"I wanted to come back and lend my support.  I said I would."


"Oh, yeah, I remember.  Thanks."


"Todd, you know you have to testify when court returns to session.  It will be vital to the trial.  You must be prepared for that.  And there is no way Blair can be there, not with all of this."


"I know.  I can do it.  I lived to tell about it, and that is what I intend to do."


"Good.  It must have been so difficult to see her go down, eh?"


"I didn't even know she was hit," he choked up, "she never said a word, didn't cry out, just slumped over.  At first, I thought she was dead."


"She wasn't, she is alive.  And she needs you.  Can you handle it?"


"I'm not who I was before.  I won't say it didn't cross my mind earlier today to go home, pack a bag and leave it all behind.  That was my m.o. for years.  But, I can't.  I promised her that this time, no leaving."


"It's hard to face the pain of others, especially those you love."


"Like you.  Aren't you facing a lot with Marty?"  He asked.  Marty.  It was odd saying her name.


"Yes.  We are going through it  head first, though.  She's coming along.  Look how she sprung to action with Blair's shooting.  She was so proud to have helped."


"I appreciate her doing that.  She and Blair have never had much love lost."


"It's all right, things change.  Neither have we.  And look at us, discussing the women who mean most to us."


"Yeah.  She's the love of my life.  I can't do it without her."


"Ya won't have to.  And hopefully, neither will I.  Would ya consider going for breakfast with me at this little diner down the street?"  Patrick said.


At the mention of the diner, Todd realized both how hungry he was and how much Patrick was trying to distract him.  "Sure, why not."


***


Zeus, lying in the hospital bed with his chest encased in bandages and an oxygen tube up his nose, felt the hand of Tea touch his.  He opened his eyes, and slowly made eye contact with her.  He said, "Am I alive?"


She smiled through tears.  "Yes, you're alive."


He closed his eyes again, and swallowed.  Then he opened them, and two tears moved along his face, one from each.  "You're here?"


"Where else would I be?"  


"Somewhere away from me," he said, tearing up, as more drops of water seeped from his eyes onto his face.


She was also crying, and brushed them off his face.  "Why would I do that?"


"Lots of reasons.  All the ones you've told me, for the last year."


"I don't remember them."


"I do.  Do you want me to remind you?"


She shook her head.  "No.  I don't."


"What do you want me to do?"


"Get well.  Get released from here.  Finish the trial, if that is what you want.  Make love to me, hold me, be with our children."


He broke into sobs.  "You...I must not be awake.  The pain meds, they make you see things..."


She leaned over and kissed his parched lips.  "Is that real?"  She asked.


"I hope it is," he sniffed, his tears still flowing.


"What would make you believe?"


"A couple of words, certain ones, I think."


"I love you, Zeus.  I love you with all my heart, and I can't lose you, ever again."


***


Hours had passed.  After breakfast, Patrick had made Todd go with him to the gym, and work out.  Todd admitted on the way back to his penthouse that he felt much better with some food and energy in his tired body.  They sat in the penthouse living room, and the first thing Patrick said was, "This looks eerily like the original."


"It is.  Blair did it.  It was a gift to me, when I got back.  The first time."


"She did a beautiful job.  It's amazing when a woman loves you that much, isn't it?"


"It is, especially in my case."


"Margaret can still play that song she wrote for my poems.  She just played it for me the other day.  Men don't keep things, not that way."


"Some don't, some do," he said, thinking of how she had always said he remembered the little things.


"True.  Have ya got some beer?"


"Beer?  What's the sense of working out?"  He laughed, checking the kitchen.  "No, no one lives here right now, so there's very little.  Since Blair was shot . . ."


Patrick waited.  Todd didn't continue, causing him to head into the other room to see what was going on.  "Todd?"  He saw Todd sitting, leaning over the table, his head in his hands.  "Todd, what's wrong?  What can I do?"  he asked, standing in the kitchen doorway.


"Nothing, I have to go back.  I just...I can't be away from her.  I'm no good without her, Patrick.  The smallest thing, just makes me know it, down to my soul.  I have to go back."


"Then let's.  I'll go with ya."


"Why?  Look at the things I've done to you."


"Did  to me, past tense, and who's counting anymore.  Unless ya'd rather not?"


"I'd be grateful for the company."  he said, and picked himself up off the kitchen chair, reluctance in his movements.


"Todd?"  Patrick said.  Todd didn't answer, he just looked up.  He was holding back from what he really wanted to do, which was cry, or get sick, or both.  He dreaded seeing her that way again, but he needed to be with her at the same time, desperately.  Patrick said, definitively. "She will be all right."


The ride over to the hospital was uneventful.  Patrick drove, and Todd readied himself for what he might find.  Her screams were still in his ears, and he wanted so much to comfort her and wasn't sure he could.  


They parked the car and walked into the emergency room, and found out within moments that she had been moved to a private room.  They boarded the elevator, and went to the 5th floor.  Walking through the hallways, they passed by other sick people in various states of illness, until they came to her room.  She was small, in the bed, and pale.  Her belly was no longer rounded, and he noticed that fact with despair.  Swallowing, he approached her, and Patrick hung back, as Todd pulled a chair next to her bed.  "Hey, are you awake?"


She opened her eyes and looked at him.  "Yeah.  Hi."


"Hi," he said, and his heart was in his throat.  "Are you all right?"


"I'm tired, and it hurts everywhere."


"I'm sorry about that."


"I just want to know if she's okay, Todd."  He touched her hair, unable to speak for a moment.  She looked down at herself, and said, "Where is she, Todd?  She's not here.  She's not here!"  She felt along her stomach.


"No she's not.  She's.....she died, Blair."


"What?"  she was surprised, as if it never occurred to her and looked at him with terror on her face.


"You were shot."


"No I wasn't.  I wasn't shot.  They cut her out of me.  Carlo and Michael Leona, they took her, Todd, I remember."


"No, babe, that's not true.  That's not how it happened.  We were at the courthouse, remember?  You were shot..."


"No!  They took her!  And you let them!  Get away from me," she sobbed, "I hate you for that, I hate you.  Get away!"


A nurse and a physician's assistant both ran in, and Todd, trying to comfort her, was asked to leave.  The PA put his hand on Todd's arm, and Todd pulled away, and turned on him.  "You want a piece of me?  Because I have had one fucking lousy day!"


"Mr. Manning, she doesn't want you here right now."  


Meanwhile, Blair was screaming. "I hate you!  Get away from me!


"Mr. Manning, I suggest you leave," the PA said.


"The hell I will, she's my wife!  Get your hands off me!"


Patrick, who could hear what was taking place, went into the room, and taking Todd's arm as moved toward the medical staff member, fists clenched, lead him out.   "I'll take Mr. Manning for a walk, he needs to calm down."


"Get out of my life, you freak!" she screamed, and Patrick noticed that Todd jumped, almost as if he were punched in the gut.  A nurse came running, and he could hear Blair start crying as she tried to calm her.  


He walked him down the hallway, and they stopped, sitting in the family area.  Todd rubbed his face with both hands, and said, "She's...she's not well."


"She's not, no.  She doesn't mean what she is saying."


"I know that.  It doesn't make it easier to hear, though."


"It's all so stinking unfair, eh?"


"Yep.  Unfair.  But there's someone responsible."  His eyes shot to the side.  "You know that as well as I do."


"Have ya thought about what ya can do?"


"Yeah, I've thought about it, long and hard.  I've thought about it every day, and every night.  I promised her I wouldn't."


"Kill the bastard?"


"Right."


Patrick said, "I never promised.  I never promised anyone."


Todd looked at him, hopeful for a moment, when they were interrupted by the physician's assistant.  "Excuse me, Mr. Manning?"


"Leave me alone."  Todd said.


"Mr. Manning is having a difficult time with all that's happened.  Ya surely understand." Patrick said.


"Yes, I do, I wanted to make it clear that we didn't ask you to leave for any reason aside from her delusional state.  We're concerned about her mental well-being."


Patrick said, "I'm sure he knows that."


"Well, if there is anything else we can do, Mr. Manning..."


"You've done enough for one day."  Then, "Thank you."


The PA left, and Todd looked at Patrick, saying, "She doesn't want me.  Do you know how hard that is?  We've lost our baby and we can't even be together.  She's afraid of me."


"She's not.  Ya know the truth.  She's not well, ya said so yourself.  She's confused and in grief.  She needs time, to accept it all."


"I think I know how to help her," he said, and took out his cell phone and dialed.  "Hello, Sister?"


*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***
Your comments are 'payment' for the work of the authors. Our writers like to hear your feedback. Please leave a comment when you read.