The Fourth Life: Chapter 39

Tea, her skirt covered in blood, stumbled, zombie-like, into the emergency room waiting area, and saw the scene.  Todd, hysterical, his family, Patrick, John, the nun, Timothy.  Her heart ached too much to manage her way over there.


She sat on the chair, and doubled over, letting the tears come.  Zeus was critical; he had been shot in the chest.  He was undergoing surgery, just as Blair was, and his was to repair a damaged heart.  Sister Rebecca Katherine noticed her, and left the group for a moment, sitting next to her.  "Dear.  Is he all right?"


"I don't know.  He's in surgery."


"Did they lose him on the way?"


"Yes, twice."  she was at her stoic best.  Staunch and firm in her ability to maintain herself, she was composed.


"Did he speak to ya?" the nun said.


"Yes.  He told me," she faltered, "that he loves me."


"That's good.  He'll be all right, he'll come through."  The nun spoke from a place more certain within her than any other.  "He will.  Then you will have a decision to make, eh?"


Tea frowned, "I'm not sure what business it is of yours."


The sister chuckled, "Todd described you perfectly, Tea.  It's not my business, but you're alone, dealing with this.  And you need someone to tell you that he's going to be all right, and that you'll be able to make that life with him that you so want to make, if you're able to let go of your pride long enough."  She stood up, and Tea's eyes followed her.  "I must go back, Todd will need me.  Zeus will be all right."  And she walked off.


Tea, not sure what to make of the strange visit, rested her hand in her forehead and cried. 


***


John said, in a voice only Patrick could hear, "Should we get a doctor?  Manning's over the top.  He needs a sedative."


"He won't be taking that," Patrick said, "He has to let this out.  I've known him for a long time, Lieutenant.  Blair is his safe harbor.  Throughout his life, when he was without her, let's just say he didn't do well."


"I've seen glimpses of that.  Since he's been back."  John said.


"If she dies, you'll have a man crazed with revenge and hatred on your hands.  If the baby is dead, which I suspect she is, Blair'll be the only one who can contain him, that she will."  Patrick said.


A doctor, in scrubs and a mask, came into the sitting area.  "Mr. Manning?"


Todd stood, up, though wobbly, and took several steps toward him, "I'm Mr. Manning," he said.


"Your wife's been shot through the right side of her stomach.  The bullet passed through her and left through her back.  It missed her spinal cord by about two inches."


He took in air, raggedly, and waited.


"She came through the surgery satisfactorily, and we've given her medication to keep her unconscious.  That is most likely for the best, as it will give her time to recover and rest.  Sometimes, we need the body to shut down to preserve itself.  With what she is facing, she'll need to be kept subdued."


He said in a small voice, "Sommer?  I mean, the baby?"


"Yes, the baby is dead, Mr. Manning.  However, we will have to do another surgical procedure to remove the fetus, because of the gunshot trauma, it's not advisable to leave the stillborn infant in place."


"Fetus?"  Todd shouted, and Patrick assumed his place behind him.  Tea's head whipped toward the commotion from across the room.  "It's not a fetus.  That's my daughter..." he faded, "That's my baby daughter."


Larry walked in, rushing toward them, and said, "Dr. Mannard, I'll be certain to explain things to Todd."


The doctor said, before leaving, "I'm so sorry for your loss, Mr. Manning."


Larry said, "Todd, I got here as soon as I could."


"What is all this?  Why are they saying all these things?"  Todd asked.


"Because, it's true, Todd.  It's true."  Larry said.


Todd, grabbing his forehead with his hand, and pacing in a circle, came back to Larry and said, "What does all this mean?"


"They have to take the baby, Todd.  With the shooting trauma, Blair is not strong enough to give birth the baby.  She's twenty-six weeks along.  The typical solution is to have the mother carry the infant until labor occurs naturally, or is induced.  She's just not strong enough."


He sat, and Larry sat right beside him.  The family and friends were close enough to hear the horrifying outcome of the incident at the courthouse:  The Mannings had lost their fourth life.


The realization of Larry's words set in.  She'd have to give birth to a dead child.  He didn't want to think about it.  A sudden and prevailing calm came over him.  He said, "Do whatever you have to to help her."  Then, he said, "Did the baby die at the courthouse?"  He flashed on Hesser's face, passing by him, the edge of a grin hidden.


"No, the techs said they had gotten a heartbeat in the ambulance."


Todd turned to Sister Rebecca Katherine, who walked to his side and placed a hand on his shoulder.  He said, "She knew."  Then he turned back to Larry, "She knew that Sommer was dying, inside her."


"That's very well possible," Larry said.  "Todd, I'm sorry.  But you know what I am going to say next.  Blair has to be your priority.  This is not going to be easy for her."


Todd wiped his eyes with the back of his hand.  "I know.  I know.  She's lost two other children."  He looked up to Patrick, who was still standing guard, "and one was yours."


Patrick said, "Yes, it was.  Brendan.  My son."


Todd said, "I'm, I'm sorry for calling you a stupid mick earlier."


Patrick shrugged, "I've been called worse, and at less crucial times.  It felt like the old days, Manning."


Todd smiled a slight smile, despite everything.  Then, "Thank you, Larry.  When can I see her?"


"She's not awake, Todd, but you can see her any time.  Come with me, I'll show you to her room."  And the two of them departed, as Marty was making her way out of the emergency room, cleaned up as much as possible.  The nurse had given her scrubs to wear, and she walked to Patrick and said, "I feel at home in these."


"You were your old self, Miss Margaret Saybrooke, when you went into action to help Blair."


She smiled, "I felt like I was my old self, thank you very much."  Then she said, "Where's Todd?"


"He's gone in to see her.  She lost the baby."


"Yes, I know.  When I saw where she was shot, I knew there was no chance of the baby surviving, or at least, little chance."


"Poor Blair," he said, concern written all over his face.  She automatically hugged him around his chest, and he closed his eyes, bringing her close, and resting his chin on the top of her head.


***


Todd walked into the cubicle where Blair was being kept.  It was the recovery room, and was surrounded on all sides by equipment and monitors, and greenish curtains.  She had tubes up her nose, and in her arms.  One of her hands was resting on her belly, which was still round, like it was not a day before.   He sat by her bed.  "Blair, can you hear me?  It's me, Babe.  I'm right here."


Nothing.


He took her hand, which looked very small and was very cold.  "I'm sorry, I didn't know.  I should have protected you and Sommer.  I'm sorry.  But I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere."


She didn't move, but he saw she was breathing, and could see her heartbeat on the monitor, steady and regular.  He put his hand on her belly, and said, "Sommer."  He felt nothing, where just hours earlier, in the courtroom, he had been touching what he believed to the the baby's head, and feeling it kick and move around.  It was a very active child that they enjoyed watching push against the side of her mother and show her hand or her foot.  Gone.


He bent his head, and resting in on the side of the bed against Blair, he cried, openly.


***


Sister Rebecca Katherine went to Starr and Jack, who were sitting by the windows.  Jack was staring out, very quiet.  Starr was talking on her phone, at first, to who sounded like Addie.  She hung up, tearfully, and said, "Thank you, Sister, for being here."


"Oh, Starr, that's all right.  The least I could do.  Jack, you're worried about your father?"


Jack said, "Yep.  And my mother.  What if she dies?"  He looked at the nun with tears brimming.


"None of that talk, young man, your mother is not going to die, Dear."


"How do you know that?" he said, angrily.


"I don't know how, but I do.  I know she will make it."  Sister Rebecca Katherine sounded so reassuring, Jack said nothing more.  She continued, "Jack, your father is a human being.  One who has been so tormented.  It was natural for him to lash out and to fall apart.  You mustn't be afraid, dear, of seeing that part of him.  It's who he is.  Most of what he believes is good in himself is tied to your mother."


Starr said, "I've never thought I underestimated the power of Mom's love for Dad.  Until now."


"Children, everything will be all right.  They'll lean on each other.  They'll make it through.  They have you, and your brothers."  The nun said.


To Jack, Starr said, "That reminds me.  I'll call Shaun, and he'll take Sam.  Sam will love it, and then you'll go there, too."


Jack said, "I'm not leaving here."


"You will, Jack.  We all will.  We can't stay here overnight."  Starr reminded.


"Why dontcha all go to the penthouses?  You'll be close to your mother, and you'll be able to come back and forth more easily, eh?"  The nun suggested.


Starr said, "Great idea.  I'll arrange it.  Good luck getting Dad out of here."  Sister Rebecca Katherine realized that Starr was right.  How would she get Todd out of the hospital?  


Timothy was still waiting for her, engaged in a conversation with Viki.  John had left.  He was on a mission to determine the identity of the shooter and make an arrest.  Patrick had gone, taking Marty back to St. Anne's, and promising to return to help keep a lid on Todd as needed.  Tea was at the far end of the emergency waiting area, making calls.  Sister Rebecca Katherine saw her get up and go back to visit Zeus, and as she passed, she made eye contact with her and the nun nodded.  


Then the sister said, "Starr, I am going to get your father.  He will probably need our support.  Be back soon, with him, I hope."


She entered the emergency area and gave Blair's name.  After retrieving a special pass, she wandered through the corridors, looking for the assigned room.  She saw a little curtained cubicle, with his feet underneath, and knew she was in the right place.  She opened the curtain, "Todd?" she said, breaking the silence.



"What?"  He said, cruelly, then, "I'm sorry, I just..."


"Don't say anything.  Just come with me, you need a break from here, lad.  You won't be strong enough to help her if you don't care for yourself.  Look at ya.  How long has it been since you even had a sip of water?"


"There's a water fountain, right there, I'll get some in a minute."


"Your children want to see you, Todd.  They're worried and hurting, too."


He looked at her, and she felt the strongest sense of pity.  His eyes were bloodshot, red-rimmed and swollen.  His beard was growing in and stubble dotted his face.  His hair was disheveled from running his hands through it.  He said, "Where are they?"


"In the waiting area.  Darling, you must be strong. I know it is hard."


"It's impossible.  Without her, I feel...I feel like jelly, Sister."


"I understand.  Come with me, dear, she's sleeping now, and needs her rest."


She brought him to his children, and Starr, who spotted him from across the room, got up and raced quickly to him, hugging him and crying.  "Oh, Dad, is Mom okay?"


He wrapped his arms around his daughter.  "It's all right, Starr.  Jack, come here." He put out his hand to his son.  Jack didn't move at first, then got up as his father kept his hand outstretched, and Todd pulled him into the embrace by the nape of his neck.  "It's okay, Son.  Your mom will be all right."


After a few moments, Todd said, "I want you all to do whatever Sister Rebecca Katherine tells you to do.  If she tells you to leave, you leave.  If she tells you to come to the hospital, you come.  If she tells you to eat, sleep, whatever, you do what she asks."


Starr said, "We're going to the penthouses.  Shaun is there with Sam already, I called him."


"Good," he said, letting go of them.  "And Jack, no drinking.  It's going to be tough, but that won't help.  I know, I've been suffering longer than any of you."


Starr was amazed that her father had even an ounce of snark left.  Jack said, "I gave it up, Dad, remember?"


"Let's make it stay that way.  You're gonna have to feel this, and feel it deep.  It's part of..." his voice cracked, but he gained it back, "living."


Starr and Jack left, but not before each telling Todd that they loved him, and him answering back.  He looked at the nun.  Viki had since gone, and Timothy had walked home, or at least they believed he had.  He said, "You've been my biggest supporter lately.  What do I owe this to?"


"Nothing, lad.  You're my charity case, eh?  I adopted ya."


He pulled her into an impromptu hug, and said, "Sister, I love ya," in his best brogue.


She said, "You really don't have that accent boy, it needs a great deal of work."


Over his shoulder, she spied Larry, coming closer, and looking like the bearer of bad news.  She said, "Todd, I'll wait over here.  I need to get off my feet for a bit," and walked away, heading to the chairs that lined the windows.


He turned, "Larry, what's up?"  He wiped his eyes.


"We've done a lot of tests, Blair's set for the next surgery, that I discussed with you earlier.  Todd, I have to talk to you about something else."


He gulped, and said, "What is it?  Go slow, I'm not sure what else I can take right now, Larry."


"There's a very good chance, Todd, that Blair won't be able to carry another child.  I wanted to be up front with you about it, so that neither of you is mislead.  She'll be coming around after the second surgery, with many questions, and I don't want you unprepared."


Todd said, "Very good chance?"


Larry answered, "Nothing's a sure thing when it comes to this kind of thing, but with the rupture of this side of her uterus, her age and the fact that she's already lost children, it's likely that if she does become pregnant, she will ever carry to full term."


He stumbled back a few steps, and Larry's hand shot out, instinctively.  "Todd, sit down, here," and he directed the younger man to the seat.  Looking down at him, he said, "You're on a dangerous path, Todd."


"What do you mean?"


"You suffer from PTSD.  You're depriving yourself of rest, food, water, and the stress must be insurmountable.  I know you don't want to hear me but, while she's in surgery, you should go home and get some sleep.  Even if it's a few hours.  What will happen when she comes to, and you're nowhere to be found or can't be strong enough to help her?"


Todd listened, still reeling from the previous news, and said, "I don't know.  I don't even know if I am capable of it."


"You are.  You know that.  Now please, get home and get some sleep."


Todd waited until Larry was out of his view, and went back to the chairs by Sister Rebecca Katherine.  He said, "Go take care of my children, please?"


"Of course, but you need to go home, Todd..."


"Please?"


She got up, "All right, if this is what ya want.  But you need to rest."


"I will, I promise, I just...I can't..."  You're going to leave me, Todd.  You always have.  "I can't leave her."


She understood, and touching under his chin, he suddenly felt all the exhaustion he was enduring, thick, like syrup around him.  She said, "I love ya, my boy.  Call us, please.  Call us when her surgery is done," and she was gone.  The emergency room waiting area was mostly empty, except for a very large woman with three kids running around her, eating chips, and a small, frail old woman next to her small, frail old husband.  He teared up, seeing them, still holding onto each other, after the years had passed them by.


He closed his eyes and saw Blair, under him, her face tilted toward him, as they had just finished making love to each other at the penthouse the last time he left her.  She had said, breathy, "No leaving?" with a question in her eyes.  


He had said, "No leaving."


"Never?" she'd asked.


"Ever," he'd said.

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